The Sincerely, she Project: August 2014

August 23, 2014

Today's Inspiration: Jessica's Affirmations

Sometimes we all need a little reminder that we can do anything good :)

Today's Inspiration: Hazel Scott

Today's Thoughts: Myn Voices on Black Women Talking

Letters/Notes: from Kimmika LH Williams-Witherspoon

Dear Kimmy:

This has been the hardest writing assignment I have ever had and I have put it off and put it off (and put it off) for weeks going into months because I haven’t really known what to say. I don’t necessarily think I have lived an extraordinary life; but I have certainly lived an interesting one. Like everyone along the journey I suppose I have made my share of poor choices and mistakes but, in all good conscience, I couldn't tell you not to do this thing or that—turn left or right---try it or sit this one out, because even with the many poor choices I've made in life, I lived through them and even with the challenges, they helped me to become the woman I am today.

Having said that, I suppose the first thing I would tell you Kimmy is to trust yourself—step out there and live! When the bad things come…and they will—know that this too shall pass and you will make it through. The key is to never give up. But you got to hang in there Kimmy.

Despite the temporal paradox—changing any one thing in the past may mean you completely alter the present (and severely cripple the future), I would tell you to be mindful that time is a gift and that regrets last a long time.

Life is short and people don’t live forever. A missed opportunity can mean a lifetime. Remember that. You should have stayed in Florida that summer with Mama Curry—even though Aunt Chrissy wrongly accused you of acting out. You had no way of knowing that was going to be your only opportunity to really get to know her but you should have stayed, toughed it out…carried some of her with you on this journey.

I regret not making it to church that Father’s Day that would become Daddy’s last. Mommy had the girls that weekend. After the failed first marriage—hurt and newly healing—Sunday morning cuddling with the young boyfriend was nice but in the grand scheme of things—it was nowhere near as important as being with my father on his last Father’s Day. Young and dumb, I was running late and choose instead to meet them after church at the house. I was wrong. Late or not, I should have been there. So Kimmy, set your alarm clock when Mommy tells you to come to church—kick the “jump off” out! He didn’t last long anyway and regrets last a lifetime.

My only other regret is getting so mad at my brothers that I cut them out of a lot of my life. Change that! Let the kids make their own mistakes as they grow. You are a wonderful mother; but parents can’t stop children from falling down; but you can teach them how to get up again.

You aren't perfect Kimmy. I guess we aren't meant to be; but we are put here on earth to learn, NEVER stop learning. Learn all you can. See all you can…try all you can and then write it…record it. Beat up, bruised; but refusing to be beaten, Don’t leave the manuscripts for your three novels under your bed when you finally leave Texas! Words gone can never be retrieved again. And your words are important Kimmy—even when it seems that no one else understands or when they seem small in comparison to all they try to solve, describe or define…write Kimmy, sing Kimmy, shout Kimmy…PERFORM! That is your mission. That is your gift and it will bring you through.

Don’t think the world will end each time a marriage does…It won’t! You’ll live. You’ll raise babies into capable women…and one remarkable young man. You’ll teach, mentor and mother students that will take bits and pieces of the best of you across the country and around the world and remember that you once cared enough about them to share with them your soul. You’ll touch and nurture and grow them up while you grow yourself.

Some people say that you should keep a journal—try if you can; but just know that your poetry and your plays are your life—so write! Write it all down and keep the journals, and papers, and scribbled bar napkins—that is your journey.

Take lots of pictures. Cherish the moments you get to spend with loved ones; Laugh out loud often. Travel. Touch history and people and be touched by them as well. Be cautious. Keep your eyes open. Try not to grow cynical and smile when your heart is breaking. Smiles and prayers are the salve that heals the broken and recharges the soul.

Please, don’t be too disappointed with me that this isn't a more definitive map, outlining all the “dos” and “don’ts”—trust me—you don’t need one. Just remember to embrace all the good times and with every challenge, every time you get knocked down…take the dare…stand back up, again!

And, I’ll be there with you—in the mirror!

To learn more about Kimmika, click HERE!