Letters/Notes: from Isee InPoetry [Reflections]

You are an elaborate memory 

Of a once upon a time happily ever after kind of dream

Of what endless determination toward forward progress really means 

And I am lost in descriptions of you given by others 

With high admiration and high cheek bones

The say you went to college and stayed home to be a mother 

You even left to fight for your country

Damn, you are a celebrity by the stories created about your history

But wouldn’t you believe it

Someone told me the other day  

That you were just another around the way girl 

With many notches on her belt 

Little room left for self-esteem or self-respect

You know they gone’ say what they say, BUT IT DON’T MATTER

Your stomach got fatter 

Because of procreation or procrastination;

The bruises on your knees 

Could have been caused by suck D

Or pray to my man Jes’

You know they gone’ say what they say, BUT IT DON’T MATTER

You had dreams of being President of the United States 

And now you work behind a counter serving dinner plates 

In a paper bag 

Cashing paycheck that barely provide enough sustenance 

To make your pants fit tight

But from where I sit they look alright.. .to me

See, they say you got on welfare because that’s all you are worth 

And they say you left your kids 

To be free from restrictions, and domestic duties, and responsibility 

Not to serve your country 

Man, you always seem to be in their mouth?

You know they gone’ say what they say, BUT IT DON’T MATTER

Your pants may not fit like they used to 

And your life may not be going the way you want it to

That empty frame hanging on your wall where your college diploma should be 

But isn’t because of activities that babies bring

You know they gone’ say what they say, BUT IT DON’T MATTER

You misunderstood your purpose and used your body for sex; 

Coming in second best 

Gaining mound of labels and discontentment 

From the prescriptions you now take 

Because of the attention you so craved; 

STD is not the title to a video game

You know they gone’ say what they say, BUT IT DON’T MATTER

Come on now, dry those tears falling down

I mean many lives have been lost before they begun

Maybe this time it would have been a daughter or a son

By father time’s watch the procedure went quick

But you heard the heartbeat coming from it

Right before they suctioned it 

You threw away your night of a passionate mistakes 

A procedure that could have been prevented 

By the restraint of using birth control

You feel your hopes turn cold 

As you become consumed by should haves, would haves, and maybes 

A young woman with angels for babies and you hate yourself for it

You know they gone’ say what they say, BUT IT DON’T MATTER

You now wear depression as a business suit; 

Using it as an excuse 

For your outward appearance

Turning your inward pain into outward gain of sympathy; 

Hoping that someone will notice and come rescue you

You don’t want this bottle of Vicodin to consume you

Oh, what about the pint of alcohol you drank too 

No one wants to hear about how many times he violated you

It happened when you were in high school

And it was probably all your fault too

How dare you walk around with eyes

That seduce the old and young at heart 

Without understanding the intentions of those with rancid thoughts

That scar still burns deeply doesn’t it? 

Branded on you for the world to see

So they can laugh, kick and push you

But never helping you up Queen

Take my hand; understanding is all you need

You know they gone’ say what they say, BUT IT DON’T MATTER

Sleepless dreamer look at me, 

Life may not be going the way you though it should be 

So wipe the dust off your shoulders and dirt off your knees

Scars exist for the world to see 

Because even though we fall down we all have the opportunity

To learn the lessons of the artwork the world left behind by life’s misery

You know they gone’ say what they say, BUT IT DON’T MATTER

Share your story with the rest of the world

Be a scar for some other little girl

And redefine what that means

Because a girl that’s been scarred creates a woman that’s seen

The good, bad, ugly, and in between 

And there will be nay-sayers who don’t understand what you are trying to do?

But they are the ones who just might need your testimony more than you

Because all know they say what they say; people gonna talk  regardless of how hard you pray; and it’s easier to retaliate than look the other way; and you might from time to time want to slap the shit out their face, but keep your mind on your purpose and again I say

IT DON’T MATTER NO WAY!

It was then that I realized 

That sometimes we are our own worst enemy

And “they” was “I” looking back at me

Self-discovery 

Silently writing my way toward my destiny, 

Poetically

Poetry you save me

~Isee InPoetry for The Sincerely, she Project ©2014

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